The Coffee Shoppe Creep
by stonesoncones
Summary: Secret Afterschool Universe! I hate coffee: bitter taste, after-taste. And worst of all, the damned VIPPER who tried selling me it! It was a suggestion from my best friend to try the stupid drink! And the specific place she suggested was the stupidest of them all! I hate coffee. I hate Ruko. I hate the TROLLOIDS! (Based off of a prank with a friend:Short and Sweet:More Inside !)


**Hey peoples , I'm trying to get back into the habit of uploading stories on common occurance, but I've been failing at it. But I'm going to try at it! New Secret Afterschool will come out shortly, I just wanted to send this little story out because:**

**A. It's hilarious. It was based mildly off of a prank that my friend pulled on her friend. It's a long story, but you'll see what the prank was about reading through it. Not everything happened during the story actually happened, I just changed a little bit for the story to make more sense.**

**B. It's only so that I get used to uploading and stuff, cause it's been a while.**

**Now, what takes place here is in Iroha's memory (Secret Afterschool Iroha: the cat-loving hermit thing, that Miku likes to call her). It's a memory that takes place way back in the fifth grade, when Miki was starting to hang around with the Vipperloids. Now, if you've read the Secret Afterschool, and you notice any contradictions in this story compared to the other, let me know, because that is a big weakness of mine.**

**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN VOCALOID. BECAUSE IF I DID, I WOULD BE RICH. AND IF I WERE RICH, I WOULD THROW A ROCKET SHIP TEA PARTY ON SATURN. WITH IT'S PEOPLE.**

* * *

You know, as of late, Miki's been driving me nuts! She's been hanging out with these creeps called the VIPPERs! Especially this Korea-obssessed cross-dressing troll named Ritsu Namine! Ugh! I hate Ritsu because he's a jerk who's taking my best friend away from me. At recess Miki and I hang out with Lily, Gumi, Piko, Yuuma and Mizki, and that's the only way it should be! Not with those creepy VIPPERs: Ritsu and... Tei. Mostly those two!

_Earlier today at lunch recess..._

_I was sitting around with my friends, we were all together looking at the magazine that Mizki had brough at the back of the hill in the school yard. It was a video game magazine, way better than those fashion and celebrity gossip magazines that Miku and her friends look at anyway!_

_"Oh my goodness! It's the newest version of Legend of Zelda!" cheered Yuuma, "You know how much I want that game?" he squealed._

_"Yuuma! Why Zelda when we could get the newest version of Fire Emblem?" Mizki blushed, I don't know what for._

_"Ew." Yuuma sticks out his tongue, looking nauscious. "You just want it just because the main character is cuuuuute!" he somewhat teases before Mizki threw her lunch box at him and initiated a wrestle!_

_"What the?" Piko sneers at the yellow mouse-thing on the next page. "What is that?"_

_"That's a Pikachu!" Mizki giggles soon after she's had her beef out on Yuuma. Piko squinted his eyes._

_"Wait a sec! Is it that thing you always relate me to?" he just realized._

_"Piko-Pikochu..." Yuuma slips out between a pant, in which now it's Piko's turn to have his beef with him!_

_"Awww~!" Gumi exhaled at the sight of the adorable little pink thing on the next page. "It's a Gummy!"_

_"Idiot!" Lily sneered as she shifted her glasses, "That's Kirby."_

_"... But to me, it's a Gummy." Gumi cooed. "Like the sock-monkey I gave you that one Christmas!" in which Lily face-palmed_

_"Moron! That's the same monkey you tried to name after yourself!" Lily cried_

_"... And I did!" Gumi chirped. Lily then curled up into a balled, slightly panicked about her friend's future._

_While all that was happening all at once, Miki and I simply skinned through the magazine together in quiet. Until we hit Cooking Mama..._

_"Miki!" I cried "Look at all the food over here on the advertisment! It looks so goooood!" I moaned_

_"I'm getting hungry when I look at it!" Miki complained. "But you know who else makes really good food?"_

_"Whooooo?" I groaned lazily._

_"Ruuuukoooooo" she groaned, imitating me, in which we both laughed. But, I don't want to go to a VIPPER for food..._

_"Why?" I asked her._

_"Trust me Iroha, you'll love the coffee her little coffee shoppe makes~!" she chirped, not answering me. But it got me onto a new topic anyway._

_"Coffee!? Yuck! Only grown ups drink coffee!" I retorted_

_"Um, Iroha, we're 10. We're in the double digits now. We can handle it."_

_"Still... Who got you into such a disgusting drink anyway?"_

_"... Ruko..." she admitted guiltly_

_"That's what I thought!"_

_"Iroha just try it once!"_

_"Never!"_

_"I thought I'd hate it too! But R_u_ko proved me wrong! Just try it!"_

_"NEVER!"_

_"Pleeeeeease?"_

_"... No...?"_

_"... For me...?"_

XoXoX

In the UTAU plaza is the Central Coffee Shoppe run by a VIPPER and her Family... and I personally don't like VIPPERs. But Miki pleaded that I should try one of Ruko's coffees...

... I'll do anything for Miki. ANYTHING!

XoXoX

Here I am now, waiting at the sidewalk bus stop, waiting for the bus with Yuuma. He's humiliating me with his arm cast and rope bandages. I look at him, very nerved. I can't tell if I'm nerved by being seen with him, or if I'm nerved by going to a VIPPER for a disgusting hot beverage! Whatever, I could at least repay Miki for all that she's done for me!

I'm going with Yuuma now because Miki has some sort of thing to go to. Normally I would go everywhere with Miki, because she's my best friend AND my neighbor. In fact, whenever I'm out, it's not common for me to go out with boys alone. I find girls, personally, to be better company. Whether it may be Miki, or Gumi, Lily or Piko (lol, don't tell him I said anything!). I've never really gone out with Yuuma alone before! But, then again. When he's not going with anyone more than one, that one person is most likely Mizki. So it's probably uncomfortable for either of us. But hey, we have no one else to go to; Miki has something to do with the Astronomy Club today, Lily is out with this older girl named Meiko, Gumi is vegetating with her carrot friends, Piko is busy fixing his laptop. And Mizki got herself a date with Gakupo! (she's waaaay out of his league). But overall, Yuuma and I are on good terms. I mean, he did stop whatever he had to do at the time to help me get there. You know, since I have no money... or parents...

Out of the thick silence that seethed between Yuuma and I, I decided to start up a conversation.

"Sooo Yuuma..." I began, gathering the little attention span he really has. "Have you ever tried Ruko's coffee?"

"Yes. Yes, I have." he replied subtle. "It's very good, I think it was wise for you to go out and try some. Even VOCALOIDs go out of their way to go to this place in the UTAU plazza."

Shut it Yuu. I'm only doing this for Miki!.. Though, the coffee culture that Ruko has built up sounds more like a cult to me...

Thankful I am, now that the bus stops where it was supposed to. But I'm still curious about the drink...

"What does coffee taste like?" I ask him as we board the bus.

"Shit" he answers as we both found a seat.

"Well that doesn't sound too-"

"-_The_ Shit."

... Alright then.

"Is there a difference between Ruko's cup and the rest of the world's?" I ask, skeptical of the VIPPERs ability.

"Not really." He responds casually, "I mean, it's just coffee."

And that's why I don't want to try any of it. It took a moment of silence for both of us to hear my stomach growl. Boy, that's embarrassing, because Yuuma stared at me with a devious look.

"You know what I think Iroha," he suggested under a chuckle, "Is that you should try some of Ruko's sandwiches; they're The Shit."

XoXoX

This is it, the 'Oh-So-Great' Coffee Shoppe that Miki keeps suggesting; Lazy Kid Cafe... Yuuma held the glass door open for me to go inside the empty store. I'm really beginning to regret this, but I'm doing this for Miki...

It was a quaint little store that wasn't filled with people at the time, so I'm thankful that no one will have to see me do this. I looked ahead to see the VIPPER Ruko, lazily keeping herself up at the counter looking miserable. Personally, when I say that I hate the VIPPERs, I hate Teto, Ted, Tei, and Especially Ritsu! Teto is a snob and Miku's friend; and being in Miku's crowd is a danger zone in it's self. Ted is a pervert. Tei is EVIL. And Ritsu... I would think that you know why!

I've never really encountered Ruko or Rook before, I've only seen them around the halls and around Miki. I guess this may or may not be a tolerable VIPPER; I'm holding my faith, but I'm having my doubts.

Yuuma gives me about ten dollars to get myself something to eat along with the coffee. He pats me on the back and nudges me sliently towards the counter where she worked- but under the current circumstance; slept.

"Hi, I'm Ruko... but no one cares." She sighs, not even casting me a glance as she greeted me. Strange...

" Why do you say that?" I ask, not in any form of care for that stupid VIPPER.

"Cause all you really want is the coffee..." She sighs even more obnoxiously

"Well, maybe someone out there cares" I tell her, doubting myself and her capabilities.

"No, no one. I just want to be kissed..." she mutters..

" I'm sure there is someone who is willing" again, but with doubt. This one is beginning to creep me out...

"No one is willing. Not even my friend with the cherry red hair..."

" oh?" I raise my eyebrow, biting my lip. Hoping she's not talking about who I think she is.

"Who is the sweetest person in the universe..." she sighs, now dreamily with a light smile... but then it fades as she reached back with reality. "Just in case you wanted to know..."

" where does this person go to school?" I ask, probably aware of the answer already.

"I'm just Ruko, why should you care which school the person I like goes to?..." She questions slightly defensive

"Just curious" I sighed, almost in defeat.

"Well, she goes to Yamaha Elementary." she then pauses... "Just in case you were curious."

"I go to the same school." I stated, becoming slightly annoyed

"Do you?"

"Yep."

"Well that's one thing we have in common..."

" ... Yeap."

There was a nice silence until her fist slammed upon the counter, startling me tremendously.

"I JUST WANT SOME SMOOCH!" She states out loud, her fists clenched.

" ... I'm sometimes thinking the same thing..." I mutter, a little out of pace from that scare. But as I thought about being kissed, I thought of Miki... But immediately scratched that thought out of my head because I shouldn' t think like that... I don't know why but I feel my cheeks heat up to the smallest degree above...

"BUT NO ONE WANTS SOME RUKO SMOOCH LIPS!" she continues, crying louder this time so that the poor pedestrians could hear her through the glass windows of her shoppe.

"... May I suggest being a little more friendly? Then someone might notice you"

"Do you have a boyfriend, fance-pants?" She questions, testing me

"No." I answer. I don't even want a boyfriend! Boys are germy and gross anyway.

"Who is that guy that walked in with you?" She questions again, pointing at Yuuma.

"I'm getting one of your coffees with his money"

"Was he your hub-snubs?"

"No, definitely not."

"Was he your boy-toy?"

" No! Gross!"

"Was he your jiggloo?" she pauses, trying to think about it. "Or however you spell it?"

" No!... I'm just gonna leave without coffee..." I cringe as I turn away to leave.

"Waaaaaaait." She calls.

"What? " I turn around to face her, regretful of the current action.

"How would you like your coffee? Black? White? Lightly roasted? Toasted?" she pauses again "Medium rare?"

" I'm leaving..." I turn away and walk three steps before-

"Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaait." she calls to me again.

"What!?" I turn impatiently

"I love you."

" I'm leaving" I turn and pick up the pace to get to Yuuma quicker. This thing is a freak of Nature!

"Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaait." She calls in monotoned desperation.

"NO!" I yell without turning back, grabbing Yuuma by the collar on my way out.

"Iroha!" He cries, "What about the Shiiiiiit?"

"I'M NOT EATING ANY OF IT!" I cry as I run, "LET'S EAT FOOD SOMEWHERE ELSE!"

And like that, I was gone. Yet another VIPPER that I can't tolerate. And a drink that I can't picture myself ever consuming as well.

Yuck about Coffee.

Yuck about you, Ruko.

At the very stoplight that stood in front of the shoppe I waited with Yuuma for it to turn green for us to get across the street. I turn back slightly to see if she was staring at me through the glass wall of her shoppe...

She was laughing with the rest of them; Teto, Tei, and Ritsu. All of them, they trolled me, and they're laughing at me. It wasn't Ruko who was the idiot, that's for sure. As they turned to face me, realizing my glare from the shorter distance, it was about time that Yuuma called out for my attention, to tell me that it was safe to cross. And to cross was about my escape route.

Those freakin' trolls!

I really don't like the VIPPERs. Or coffee.

YUCK!

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**Now kiddos, tell me what you thought of that little short. If you guys like, because I like doing things like these, is like a collection of memories shared between Secret Afterschool's Cast, because I've noticed all the past experiences that the characters liked to share. The Characters would include**

**Miku**

**Rin**

**Luka**

**Meiko**

**Miki**

**Iroha**

**Lily**

**Yuki**

**Gumi**

**Kiyoteru**

**Ritsu**

**And even the side characters liek:**

**Yuuma, Piko, Mizki, Len, Ruko and others that were mentionned. But this is only by request. If that's the case, then I will gladly share a memory: by request as well! (Just name a character in the Secret Afterschool Universe and I'll work with it) But if not, then this will only stay as a one shot. You guys make the suggestions in your review. Again, if you didn't like the story, just let me know what I didn't do right and I'll be glad to correct myself!**

**:)**

**~ Rocky~**


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